New Every Morning

The Faith To Wait

mayboz88 — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 21:46:31 +0000

Do you ever grow tired, and perhaps more than a little frustrated at waiting for an answer to a prayer? Maybe you’ve been rattling the gates of heaven for what seems an eternity about an acute need, such as a job, or a home, or the salvation of a loved one. Now you’ve come to a place of just about giving up…except that you can’t just give up. People depend on you, your energy is running on fumes, and disaster is dangling over your head by a thin, frayed thread. You have to keep on, you have to get up in the morning and do it all over again, and you find yourself once more crying out -begging- for relief, for an answer. But there doesn’t seem to be one; just more waiting, so you question your faith and your relationship with God.

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like I have been hearing a lot recently about “waiting” on the Lord, “resting” in the Lord, and “releasing” to the Lord. These are by no means new concepts, but it seems like every passage of scripture I have read lately has had the word ‘WAIT’ or ‘REST’ in it. They stick out like the proverbial sore thumb, and what do they have to do with faith? How does the seemingly interminable wait for an answer to prayer impact faith, and vice versa?

Simplistic as it may sound, waiting on the Lord cannot be accomplished without faith. Resting in Him is impossible without faith in Him. Releasing to Him is an exercise in futility unless you are exercising your faith to do it. Sometimes it’s really tough to take your hands off something and let God work. You want to do something so badly….after all, Scripture tells us “faith without works is dead.” We feel that it is truly an act of faith to be “doing” something. Heaven forbid we should sit with our hands in our laps, (or our mouths shut!) We see so much that needs “fixing.” I am so guilty of self-righteous platitudes and “spiritual advice” that it seems like second nature to go around dispensing quick fixes and high-minded admonition. I caught myself the other day, praying for a situation and actually petitioning God for things to go the way I thought would help fix the situation. I was stopped mid-sentence by the Holy Spirit, fortunately, and reminded that if I am to really TRUST God, I will simply pray that His will be done, and get my attention off of what I would like the outcome to be. I began to realize that all my “traffic directing” has left me frustrated, exhausted and disappointed. I am appalled by my lack of trust! If my Heavenly Father is going to provide for my every need, and answer my every prayer, He certainly is not going to do a slip-shod job of it. His means and imagination far exceed mine.

So what do I do the next time I catch myself trying to orchestrate the answer to a problem? I must refuse to dwell the problem or its outcome. I do this several ways:

1) recounting problems that God has already solved and letting myself be awed by the unique way He did it (Psalm 103);

2) reminding myself that He is my Father, and my Father only wants what is best for me, just as I only want what is best for my children (Luke 11:9-13);

3) don’t allow my mind to wander around looking for useless remedies (Phil. 4:6-8);

4) pray in the Spirit to build myself up in faith (Jude 20,21).

When I have done all this, I find the weariness and discouragement have drained away and Isaiah’s words become truth for me: “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (40:31).

And my faith grows stronger.

The Secret Place (part 2)

mayboz88 — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 14:31:48 +0000

Let’s explore our ability to dwell in the Secret Place from another perspective. Hebrews 4:15 and 16 tells us,

“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The reason why we can dwell in safety, in the secret place, is because Jesus has given us the keys to it. He suffered the same things we suffer – remember the passage from the Old Testament lesson in Isaiah, which said “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;” 53:4. And, “The Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all,” vs. 6. He paid the full price, then passed through the heavens so that He could be there to give the mercy we never deserved, and the grace to help in time of need. Our heavenly Father is not inaccessible, or aloof from us. On the contrary, He not only partook of the punishment for our guilt, He paid the full ransom for our safety and salvation, paving the way to the secret place for us so that we could dwell with Him in it. He only asks that we place our trust in Him, also a recurring theme throughout Psalm 91. He admonishes us to hold fast our confession of faith – the words of our mouth, which are the outward demonstration of what is in the heart. The Father is inviting us to dwell with Him in this place where He is. Jesus was cut off from the land of the living so that we would not be! He was bruised, He was put to grief, He was afflicted, smitten, wounded, chastised with stripes upon His back, taking on Himself that which we deserved, so that we could freely enter into the fellowship of His Kingdom at His bidding, and dwell in complete safety and security. We simply cry out to Him in trouble and He is there, allowing us to see the destruction of the wicked that does not touch us. Every day brings accounts of this; times when we were in situations where perhaps we should have been seriously injured, or even killed. Times when somehow miraculously we were spared, or were given a divine intervention, or shown extraordinary mercy. Times when our enemy was diverted or even destroyed while we stood helplessly by, awestruck and dumbfounded. Times when we knew our home was spared attack or destruction, inexplicably.

But what about those times when you feel you are on the receiving end of every destructive force, every attack, every form of retribution your enemy could visit upon you? What about those times when you feel God has certainly abandoned you, or given you the opposite of what you have asked for? This is when the secret place is your most formidable shield, because it is in these times when it is imperative that you seek out that secret place of the most high. This is the time to tarry, to persevere, and to become immoveable from that place of trust and safety – when it is the most irrational thing you’ll ever do! When your heart is lying in a million pieces, even in the most sorrowful of your days; the time you are in physical pain, the time when you put a beloved one in the ground. The time when you don’t have a cent to call your own, the time when everyone you ever called “friend” turned his back on you and betrayed you. In every hardship, every crushing blow, know that because Jesus went there first, you can be there in that place where, contrary to every shred of common sense, you share the secret peace that passes all understanding, the comfort that only God Himself can give, so that your heart, your body, your mind, can rest. It is a place that transcends human will, human emotion, human feelings. It is the time when, despite the overwhelming human urge to give in and quit, you must acknowledge something beyond your own ability – your trust in God. The “stepping out” when it defies common sense; the “holding fast our confession.” Saying, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.”

The secret place isn’t for the faint of heart, or the wishy-washy of faith. The secret place commands an act of your will, because even though the secret place is, by its very nature, a place of safety, dwelling in it is in not for cowards who are swayed by what they see happening all around them. Do you think it is no sweat to see a thousand fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand? Do you think it is painless to dash your foot on a stone? Do you believe that you would not be faint with fear of all the danger outside your home if you could really see all that is out there, trying to get at you? The secret place is not a place where there is no danger, rather, it is a place of safety in the midst of that danger, and you must realize that dwelling in it is a matter of choice. Holding fast to your confession, choosing to put your trust in God, these are day-to-day decisions that don’t happen accidentally. They are conscious, verbal, heart choices that you will to make, sometimes in spite of, not because of whatever circumstance you happen to find yourself in. It is your decision – and you can do it, so don’t let anything stand in your way!

The Secret Place (part 1)

mayboz88 — Thu, 26 May 2011 00:35:45 +0000

The lady was pale and wasted; extremely debilitated from battling the long fight for her life, she seemed as though a gust of wind could have toppled her. Her hair was nearly non-existent under her colorful scarf. It was almost as if you could see right through her if she stood in front of a strong light. Her very presence was amazing. She was one of the attendees at the launching service of a mission church, the wife of a minister who was participating in the service, and had been battling cancer for quite some time, enduring a long series of harrowing chemotherapy regimens. Unless you’ve been through it personally, you can’t imagine how incredibly difficult and incapacitating chemotherapy really is, or just exactly how hard it is to live with the ravages of the disease. I got a fair idea of the toll of her battle from her appearance that night. Yet she was there. She endured a car ride of several hours to be a part of what God was doing there that evening, and I could not help but admire her, but it was more than that. It was the will to be there, – it emanated from her – to participate in the face of adversity. It was the determination not to miss out on anything that God has to offer because of circumstances. No Excuses. Maybe that sounds a little cliché, but shouldn’t it be the state of mind for every child of God?

The Psalm in the daily office for that particular day was Psalm 91. I remember weeping inexplicably as I read it then, although I’d read it many times, and count it among my most cherished passages. It speaks of safety, of being in a place so secure that, even with trouble close at hand, it does not come near us. That place of security is where we should dwell, under the shadow of the Almighty, in the refuge and fortress of God, covered by His feathers, under His wings. It is the assurance of satisfaction, peace and contentment as we place our trust in our Heavenly Father. It is the promise of being borne up by His angels, to keep us from stumbling. It’s all that, but that day the Holy Spirit gave me a fresh insight about this psalm – the secret place is the city of God, His dwelling place! Our faith and obedience to Him brings us to that place, so that no matter how difficult or troublesome the circumstances in our lives, His promise is that we have a refuge of complete safety to inhabit, to remain in firmly and steadfastly, a place upon which to fix our attention! When I saw that lady, I realized why this particular psalm had so moved my heart. She was living – dwelling in, abiding in, inhabiting – the secret place. There was probably no way in the physical that she could have made that trip, but she determined in her heart to overcome by moving beyond excuses, even legitimate ones, by fastening her attention to, and stepping into that City. The faith and obedience she displayed was an act of will, but it allowed her to tap into a supernatural strength beyond the human limitations. God, in all likelihood, never demanded or required that she go. By His mercy, she would have been blessed even if she had said, “I just cannot possibly make that trip.”

In Philippians 4:11-13, we read

“….I have learned whatever state I am in to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

This is more than just a verse of encouragement to help us get through the tough times. It is a way of life, a frame of mind for the believer. It is instruction to us to exterminate the weeds of excuses that threaten to choke out our resolve to determine that nothing will stand in our way of obedience to God, even in the small things. Even in the big things. Especially in the impossible things – and we all know how formidable the impossible can be. Staring adversity in the face while you ease your toe over the line in the sand can cause some serious sweating! Stepping out of the boat is pretty scary, and the reasons one could give for staying in the boat seem pretty logical. In fact, stepping out into a storm-tossed sea could be interpreted as being, well, deranged! Where is your resolve going to land you? Are you going to play it safe? Are you going to listen to the voice of “reason” and stay put in rational, familiar territory? After all, everyone says it would be less than smart to take a risk like that! But God says otherwise. He says, “Come on, I’ll hold you up. You can, by my strength. Obey Me and dwell – abide, inhabit – within the Secret Place of safety that is beyond the scope of the world’s understanding.”

The Word of God is full of risk-takers, and I could list them by the dozen. But I really only want to convey this to you: Your boldness to obey, trust in, and rely on God puts you where your real safety is – in the secret place of the Most High, the shadow of the Almighty, your refuge and fortress; the Kingdom that is not of this world. In the middle of turmoil, in the midst of adversity – illness, job, or lack of one, family trouble, needs, heartbreak, betrayal, whatever – if you can be daring enough to step out in obedience, your faith will put you in the place of safety. It will become your new address! You can do all things through Him, because He has surrounded you. You can be satisfied in little or much, in good times or bad, because He has enabled you to be safe, no matter how close at hand destruction may seem. You can abide in His strength and safety – in His Dwelling Place, the Secret Place.

Getting in the Yoke

mayboz88 — Thu, 19 May 2011 20:59:36 +0000

Have you ever suffered from “green eye” ? It’s a pretty common ailment, especially in our culture of American Idol and the various other “talent” shows that have sprung up and virtually spawned a cult following. It comes on when you start looking at somebody else’s ability and wish you could be just like that. Everybody wants to have that “voice” or that “look” or those dance moves. It has basically driven many, whose talents may lie elsewhere, to expose themselves to public ridicule and humiliation in trying to emulate another’s gift. But, come on, we’re all subject to that temptation, aren’t we? How often have we worn ourselves out just trying to be like somebody else? If only we really understood God’s real purpose for us as individuals. He never intended for humans to be mass-produced, cookie-cutter duplicates with identical talents and gifts. Why else would He have made every single human with a different set of fingerprints? I think God has a more ingenious talent search program that really spotlights the wonderful and unique gifts He gives each of us individually. It does require something from us, however. Matthew 11:28-30 says,

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (NKJV).

There are several times in God’s word where the walk of a Christian is likened to yoked oxen. In this particular passage, the focus seems to be on the yoke itself. Jesus was a carpenter by trade, and in His day, one of the mainstays of the carpentry business was making the wooden yokes farmers used for their oxen to plow and do other heavy labor. When a yoke was built, it was specifically fitted to the oxen for which it was made, much like a tailor would custom-fit a suit, or a cobbler a pair of shoes. It was made to balance and equalize the load the ox must pull without causing excessive strain or rubbing raw places; fitted so that the oxen could be steered and so that they could work longer and more efficiently without tiring too quickly.1

In verse 30, He tells us, “My yoke is easy.” The word “easy” in this instance does not mean simple, or not involving work, effort or sacrifice. It means fit for use or well suited to him for whom it was specifically made. What made the biggest impression on me is the fact that God has fitted me with a specific yoke to do the work he has ordained for me. He doesn’t want me to go around wishing for someone else’s yoke. He wants me to understand that for me, my yoke is easy, or fitted to me, so that I can do my work more efficiently and without tiring myself out unnecessarily. When I spend my efforts trying to emulate someone else, or do something I don’t have the talent or ability for, I am trying to wear another’s yoke, one which is not suited to me. And what happens? I become overburdened, weary, heavy-laden. Christ is telling me here that He wants me to focus on Him, get my eyes off of people I wish I could be like, and get in the yoke with Him. Verse 29 says I am to take His yoke upon myself; it also says “learn of Me for I am gentle and lowly in heart.” He wants me to emulate Him, His gentleness, His humility. In doing so He promises I will find rest. Interestingly, “rest” here doesn’t mean a cessation from work, but a refreshing in spirit. Vine’s Expository expresses this beautifully: “Christ’s rest is not a rest from work, but in work, ‘not the rest of inactivity but of the harmonious working of all the faculties and affections – of will, heart, imagination, conscience – because each has found in God the ideal sphere for its satisfaction and development.’”2

So, once I take upon myself Jesus’ yoke and begin to imitate Him, He then allows my work – that which I have been called to do and given the ability or talent for – to begin to blossom and develop in such a way as to actually bring a refreshing to my spirit as I labor! Furthermore, I begin to find my “niche”, the place where I can develop and contribute my own unique gifts, and God unfolds to me my hidden abilities I never knew I had. There is no need for me to wear myself out trying to be what I am not, because God made me uniquely me. No one else is exactly like me, with the gifts and abilities I possess, and He never intended for me to waste my energies in straining to do something for which I am not suited. Are you ready to get in the yoke?

2 Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words; quoting J. Patrick, Hastings Bible Dict.

What’s Cooking?

mayboz88 — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:26:04 +0000

OK, so it’s been a good long while since I posted here. A lot has happened in the interim. Since my last posting, I’ve moved to a new place, started a new job (re-entered my former nursing career, actually), and made a stab at getting my Bachelors (still on the back burner) among a myriad of other changes. I don’t know about you, but it just seems as I get older, changes become more difficult, and sometimes take on a life of their own. I’ve begun to wonder some days just who I am and what happened to the former, comfortable me! Whatever happened to just going through your day with a plan, and getting stuff done according to said plan? Is it just me, or does everything seem to be getting more complicated? I could elaborate, but I won’t. It’s just too complicated. Well, I’m rambling.
The main point of this blog when I started it was to give me a forum, an outlet to get my writing out in the daylight. To share what’s on my heart, to build a readership. Recently I watched the movie Julie & Julia, in which the main character, Julie cooked her way through chef Julia Child’s cookbook and blogged about her experiences over the course of a year, one day and one dish at a time. It was a great movie about personal growth and goal-setting. Now I’m not going to do any cooking – I try to avoid the kitchen altogether; I find burning the chicken and slicing my fingers not at all relaxing. But I’d really like to get my writing out of the deep freeze and stoke the fire under my creative juices. I plan start out by cleaning out my “pantry” and breathing some life into some of my former work to share here. We’ll see where it goes from there. Hopefully you’ll find something new on the menu at least once a week.

You’re Not Wearing THAT, Are You?

mayboz88 — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:24:48 +0000

It occurred to me the other day that I was carrying something around that I didn’t need to be carrying. I had awakened very early for some reason, and was lying there trying to fall asleep again, and my brain started in on a familiar rant. I thought about my kids, and what would happen to them if there was a war. I thought about my parents, and how they might be affected if the government gets its way with our health care services. I wondered what I would do if the transmission fell out of my van, especially if it happened on my way to work the first day of a new job. What if I made a terrible nursing mistake by accident and a patient died. What if, what if, what if! I caught myself after about a half dozen what ifs, and thought, “Good grief! Why am I laying here letting my brain rattle on like this? I need to be praying about all this stuff.” Naturally, the moment I began to do that, my mind started off in another direction entirely. Now I began thinking of all the times I should have been praying and didn’t. I didn’t pray for so-and-so yesterday, and what about this person, or that person? Remember, they asked you to pray, and you never did. What about the kids? Did I pray enough for them? Did I ask for protection from this sickness or that disaster? Oh, you’re such a terrible mother!

That’s when it hit me. Guilt. I was carrying around subconscious guilt I didn’t even realize I had. It only cropped up at unexpected and untimely moments, like when I should be praying or focusing on getting done the precise thing I was feeling guilty for not doing! I giggled a little when the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “You wear your guilt like underwear.” I pondered this, and came to the conclusion that wearing my guilt like underwear means I don’t always notice it, but its always there, under every other layer. It’s not a lot of guilt, not a really heavy load that other people would notice, but if I think about it hard enough, yep, there it is. But, unlike underwear, guilt is optional. We choose to wear it, or not. Unfortunately, some people wear their guilt more like regular clothes, or even as an overcoat. In fact, I’ve seen some wearing guilt like an enormous quilt, layered on over all the other layers of guilt.

You know the tales of moms who tell their kids to be sure and put on clean underwear, in case they get in an accident. I always wondered what difference it made, whether you had on your clean underwear in that situation. When I became a mom myself I realized that wearing clean underwear meant your mom wasn’t embarrassed. As a mom, I had my version: Never mind an accident, you’re NOT wearing THAT, are you?! What about that new outfit I just bought for you? The kids would inevitably want to wear the oldest, grungiest t-shirt or ratty, holey jeans. Now why didn’t they want to wear the new clothes? It was a mystery to me. I think God must wonder that same thing. “I’ve provided clean, new robes of righteousness for you, and you want to wear that old, sin-worn, grimy thing?” So take it off already! You were never meant to carry it. The Word says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom. 8:1) If you are a child of God, you are meant to be clothed only in robes of righteousness (Is. 61:10, Job 29:14) and a garment of praise (Is. 61:3). If you have something truly to feel guilty of, know that you have an intercessor, Jesus Christ, who will go before the Father and plead your case for you (1 John 2:1, Rom. 8:26-27, Heb. 7:25). Mercy is yours. Confess the sin that weighs you down, and receive His righteousness. Throw off that heavy cloak of sin and guilt.

Friends, it’s time to come back from your guilt trip, clean out your closet and get rid of all your guilty clothes. Even your favorite self-reproach, that neat little, nearly invisible layer underneath. Get rid of it, too, because inevitably it will “slip” and show. It’s a mindset you cannot afford to indulge, because it will undermine your efforts to draw near to God. It will rattle your cage every time you start to pray, or study the Word, or to minister to someone. Refuse it when it is offered to you as a side dish to your worship. Practice the habit of forgiveness acknowledgement; that is, the moment a guilty thought passes through your brain, acknowledge that it is a forgiven sin, or if it isn’t, repent of it immediately and then banish it. Pray shamelessly. Worship without remorse. Serve without recrimination. Savor the joy of unencumbered praise to your Lord wearing the latest in guilt-free apparel.

Fishing in the Rain

mayboz88 — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:56:54 +0000

Looking out the window at the little lake near our cabin this morning, I noticed that there was a guy standing out there fishing. It’s a dreary sort of day, rainy, but there he stands, casting out, reeling in, casting out, reeling in, oblivious to the weather. I didn’t notice him catching anything, but he keeps at it. I know there are fish in the lake, because I’ve seen them jump occasionally. My grandson even caught one, earlier this summer. But if I were to judge by the success of the rainy day fisherman out there, it looks like even if there are fish, they’re not biting. Yet, he keeps on casting out. I hope he isn’t too hungry for dinner.

For many of us who are searching for employment, it seems like that little vignette is apropos to our situation. The rain of the times is falling on our heads and all around us. We know there must certainly be jobs out there, at least we’ve heard of them cropping up here and there, but we’re uncertain of whether we’ll even be able to catch a break. If you’ve been out of the job market for a while, as I have, the uncertainty is compounded by the feeling that you’re at the bottom of the heap, and prospective employers are enjoying the pleasure of selecting only the cream of the crop. I am not an expert in the field, so I can’t tell you how to make yourself more appealing in your particular job market. But I can take a clue from our wet fisherman friend: there are fish out there, and eventually one will bite. You just have to keep fishing, even in the rain.

I noticed that our fisherman moved on to another spot. Another clue: keep your search moving. Fish in fresher waters. Use different bait, if necessary, but keep fishing. Didn’t catch the juicy, 10-pound prize? Don’t throw it back, it may keep you from starving while you continue fishing for a bigger, better catch. At the very least, you might use it for bait!

I know my analogy here probably sounds a bit trite or simplistic, but I’m really trying to encourage others as I encourage myself. You know, fishing is sort of an act of faith. The angler puts a bit of bait on the hook, and drops the line into the water. Usually the water is murky enough that he can’t see much. He only has the word of others that there are fish in there; maybe he’s seen some jumping, breaking the surface, but they’re certainly not holding up little signs that say, “Drop your line here, I’m starving!” No, in fact I think sometimes they think, Huh, do I look stupid to you? I know a spiked worm when I see one. So, casting out your line in the job market is like that – an act of faith. You gotta eat, so you keep fishing. And even when the rains of adversity pour down and soak you, keep on casting out, because eventually you’ll drop your line in the right place, and you’ll pull in a keeper.

Finding My Strength

mayboz88 — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:08:44 +0000

Several weeks ago (o.k., it’s been two months) I mentioned that, in my attempt to break back into the job market, I was going to attend a Nurse Reentry program to refresh my skills and make me more “hirable.” Well, I’ve now completed the program, and feel somewhat less overwhelmed by the idea of returning to nursing. Somewhat. It’s been around 15 years since my last actual nursing job, and I can tell you that the changes in the field are nothing short of stupefying. When I worked as a nurse, “back in the day” for example, there was virtually no computer component to nursing. Yes, there was computer technology being utilized in the hospital setting. While I was an admissions rep – during nursing school – the hospital I worked at introduced computers and CRTs into the admissions department. It was a glorified combo of fancy typewriters and computer screens, but, hey, it was a computer and I, for one, thought we had arrived! Of course, once I got to actual nursing, computers were limited mostly to checking labs and monitoring telemetry. There were computer systems at work behind the scenes, but nothing hands-on for nurses. We knew they were coming, but use of computers in the nursing process was a far-off dream (or nightmare, depending on how computer-literate one is.) It was just not possible for most of the clinical population to imagine what the digitalization of the medical profession would look like.

There are numerous other changes I observed during my clinical hours, enough to be intimidated right out the door! The new meds, the (even more) complicated medical conditions and their (even more) complicated treatments, the new HIPAA laws and accompanying myriad policies – to name a few significant changes in the field. When I made the decision to start this journey, I was just short of terrified. I knew there were many changes, and I felt my own shortcomings acutely. I had a 90-minute drive each way, I was having some bouts of major back pain (some of it fear-driven), and I did not have much faith in my powers of recall for the skills I once possessed. I’m no “spring chicken,” and I truly did not know how I would get through the days of 12-14 long hours on my feet.

I feel a bit ashamed to admit that I was so fearful. You do what you have to do, and now, especially, you can’t let fear or weakness play a role in what must be done to make a living. Suffice it to say that in this particular situation I was not feeling the strength! Nevertheless, I was determined to make a go of it. And along the way, I found something surprising: the ability to do it, and do it well. When I started out, I prayed, “God, I don’t know how in the world I’m going to do this. It’s scary to even consider. But I know that You’re in it, and not only that, but you are the well-spring of my strength, so that even if I don’t feel up to the job, You will do it through me. So, I offer my will, and my weak body to Your service, for You to use and to work through. I say, as Mary said, ‘Be it unto me according to Your will.’” The first thing I had to do was acknowledge that it was God’s will for me to enter – and finish – the program. I then needed to surrender to Him to complete it. Philippians 1:6 says, “…He who has begun a good work in you will complete it…” I only had to trust that Word. If He started it, He would finish it. So, every morning that alarm went off at 4:30, I got up and reminded myself that God was enabling my steps that day, and He would get me through it. Did I have days that my back hurt? Yes. Did I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the new stuff I had to assimilate? Absolutely. And in those moments (er, hours) I found myself being comforted and reminded not to let my mind wander too far into the future with thoughts of “if this is how I feel now…” The Holy Spirit was so gracious in giving me what I needed for the moment. As such, as long as I stayed in the moment, I was far more able to focus on and remember what I was trying to learn. And staying in the moment gave me another added bonus: I recalled so much more than I ever thought I could! Skills that I once possessed floated to the surface like life preservers, right when I needed them. They came to me like the proverbial “riding the bike,” never really forgotten.

I could quote a bunch of scripture passages about having hope, having a future, being able to do all things in Christ, and they would all be pertinent. But the thing that gave me strength to do what I needed to do was focusing on trusting God for the moment. Knowing that since He was going to finish what He started, all I had to do was keep my eyes on Him in the moment. In fear, anxiety, pain, stress, or being overwhelmed with whatever I’m facing, He just wants me to trust Him for that moment, and not try to figure how I’m going to do the whole thing. In knowing that, I found peace, and ultimately, my strength to go on.

A Little Blog Blip & A Great Link

mayboz88 — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:40:00 +0000

I’ve been working on this week’s post, and it’s about half done. However, I also started in a nurse reentry program this week; an hour and a half drive each way, and I spend about eight hours in class. Needless to say I’m pretty shot by the end of the day, and writing anything else is low on my list. The blessing to all this – besides the extra quality time I get to spend praying while I drive – is that my classroom time will be over in less than a week, and after that I will be working on 160 hours of clinical time, which will be pretty flexible. My posts will continue as regularly as I can manage, so thanks for hanging with me. In the meantime, you can find some great reading on The Builder and the Architect. Go to http://www.thebuilderandthearchitect.org/ The latest posts there are a daily diary of my son’s experiences in Honduras with Habitat for Humanity. Blessings to you all!

Low Times for Doubting Thomas, pt. 2

mayboz88 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:36:49 +0000

Most of the disciples were present when Jesus made His appearance to them in the closed, locked room where they had hidden themselves. In the midst of the staggering struggle between what their minds knew and what their eyes beheld, here was Jesus, speaking peace, assuring them of His real, flesh and blood presence. Yet still, they may have battled doubt during that week when He was nowhere to be found; but they had each other to confirm that what they had seen was real and not a figment of their grief-stricken minds. Thomas did not have the benefit of seeing. No matter how the others tried to convince him, there was no such assurances for Thomas. He had not seen with his eyes, nor touched, nor heard the Voice. We castigate poor old Thomas for his unbelief. Down through the ages he has been branded The Doubter because he could not believe in what he could not see. Yet, if we truly identify with the emotions of this notorious skeptic, would we not find ourselves also aptly named? What about the rest of the disciples? Had any of them not been in the room at that opportune moment, would we now be referring to them as Doubting James, or Peter, or John?

Thomas’ infamous announcement that in order to believe he must first see is well known. But we know that upon seeing Jesus appear, and given the opportunity to touch and feel, Thomas no longer had need of sensory confirmation. “My Lord and my God!” Thomas’ exclamation affirmed that he no longer doubted the reality of the resurrection. The other disciples could well have said the same, as it took a physical appearance of the Master to convince them also. Indeed, Christ’s words to Thomas and the others, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” (Jn. 20:29) refer to all subsequent followers who have only the apostles accounts to show them Jesus and salvation.

But, lest we take misguided pride in this statement, let us carefully search our hearts. Let me make this personal: How often do I glibly acknowledge my faith in Biblical principles, but fail to walk them out? Healing, for example. Healing power was provided for in the stripes Jesus suffered prior to His crucifixion, and I may be quick to quote supporting scriptures, yet does my faith wither on the vine when it comes to walking in it? Do I demand to see proof of it before I will accept the truth of His healing power? How about trusting God for His provision for daily needs? It seems easy to quote “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19) Yet faced with an insurmountable need, an unimaginable debt, what do my actions relate to the world about what I really believe? Do I wail and whine about my deficit, or try to engineer or micromanage a solution in my own strength? Or, do I steadfastly stand upon the truth of God’s word, and determine to let HIM be my full supply? I could elaborate further, but I think you get the idea. To profess faith in Him whom I have not seen, nor touched, nor walked with through the streets of Jerusalem means to believe fully in His words – and to demonstrate my faith by my actions. To awake on the worst day of my life, the most fearful moment when it seems that all is lost and God is nowhere to be found, and yet proclaim, “My Lord, and my God!” is the place I want to be. To be worthy, in every facet of my faith, of the statement Christ made of us in that moment when Thomas finally saw: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”