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It occurred to me the other day that I was carrying something around that I didn’t need to be carrying.  I had awakened very early for some reason, and was lying there trying to fall asleep again, and my brain started in on a familiar rant.  I thought about my kids, and what would happen to them if there was a war.  I thought about my parents, and how they might be affected if the government gets its way with our health care services.  I wondered what I would do if the transmission fell out of my van, especially if it happened on my way to work the first day of a new job.  What if I made a terrible nursing mistake by accident and a patient died.  What if, what if, what if!  I caught myself after about a half dozen what ifs, and thought, “Good grief!  Why am I laying here letting my brain rattle on like this?  I need to be praying about all this stuff.”  Naturally, the moment I began to do that, my mind started off in another direction entirely.  Now I began thinking of all the times I should have been praying and didn’t.  I didn’t pray for so-and-so yesterday, and what about this person, or that person?  Remember, they asked you to pray, and you never did.  What about the kids?  Did I pray enough for them?  Did I ask for protection from this sickness or that disaster?  Oh, you’re such a terrible mother!

That’s when it hit me.  Guilt.  I was carrying around subconscious guilt I didn’t even realize I had. It only cropped up at unexpected and untimely moments, like when I should be praying or focusing on getting done the precise thing I was feeling guilty for not doing!  I giggled a little when the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “You wear your guilt like underwear.”   I pondered this, and came to the conclusion that wearing my guilt like underwear means I don’t always notice it, but its always there, under every other layer.  It’s not a lot of guilt, not a really heavy load that other people would notice, but if I think about it hard enough, yep, there it is.  But, unlike underwear, guilt is optional.  We choose to wear it, or not.  Unfortunately, some people wear their guilt more like regular clothes, or even as an overcoat.  In fact, I’ve seen some wearing guilt like an enormous quilt, layered on over all the other layers of guilt.

You know the tales of moms who tell their kids to be sure and put on clean underwear, in case they get in an accident.  I always wondered what difference it made, whether you had on your clean underwear in that situation.   When I became a mom myself I realized that wearing clean underwear meant your mom wasn’t embarrassed.  As a mom, I had my version: Never mind an accident, you’re NOT wearing THAT, are you?!  What about that new outfit I just bought for you?  The kids would inevitably want to wear the oldest, grungiest t-shirt or ratty, holey jeans.  Now why didn’t they want to wear the new clothes?  It was a mystery to me.  I think God must wonder that same thing.  “I’ve provided clean, new robes of righteousness for you, and you want to wear that old, sin-worn, grimy thing?”  So take it off already!  You were never meant to carry it.  The Word says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom. 8:1) If you are a child of God, you are meant to be clothed only in robes of righteousness (Is. 61:10, Job 29:14) and a garment of praise (Is. 61:3).  If you have something truly to feel guilty of, know that you have an intercessor, Jesus Christ, who will go before the Father and plead your case for you (1 John 2:1, Rom. 8:26-27, Heb. 7:25).  Mercy is yours.  Confess the sin that weighs you down, and receive His righteousness.  Throw off that heavy cloak of sin and guilt.

Friends, it’s time to come back from your guilt trip, clean out your closet and get rid of all your guilty clothes.  Even your favorite self-reproach, that neat little, nearly invisible layer underneath.  Get rid of it, too, because inevitably it will “slip” and show.  It’s a mindset you cannot afford to indulge, because it will undermine your efforts to draw near to God.  It will rattle your cage every time you start to pray, or study the Word, or to minister to someone.  Refuse it when it is offered to you as a side dish to your worship.  Practice the habit of forgiveness acknowledgement; that is, the moment a guilty thought passes through your brain, acknowledge that it is a forgiven sin, or if it isn’t, repent of it immediately and then banish it.  Pray shamelessly.  Worship without remorse.  Serve without recrimination.  Savor the joy of unencumbered praise to your Lord wearing the latest in guilt-free apparel.

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